Cafe Witness

Friday, July 21, 2006

The Chess Game of Air-Conditioning

I'm sitting at Crazy Mocha in the South Side Works. I'm perched at a table in the balcony area (yes, it's up a flight of three steps so, for descriptive purposes, it's a balcony), where I was also sitting yesterday. Except yesterday I was blissfully comfortable at my table and today I'm mildly agitated, and it's all due to one variable: the placement of air conditioning vents.

Yesterday I was between two vents and had equal air flow on both sides. Today, I have one vent blowing on my left side while my right side wonders why it gets no love. My internal system seems to be conducting a self-temperature check every ten milliseconds, resulting in the hairs on my left arm standing up continually while my right side languishes at room temperature.

This is not unlike my sleeping arrangement, in which the power cord for my oscillating fan is short enough to restrict the fan's trajectory to the left side of my body. If this pattern continues for any lengthy stretch of time, I presume the left side of my body will begin to evolve, growing more dense so as to withstand the perceived arctic imbalance. I may even walk with a limp.

Maybe I should switch tables.


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