I'm a Hypocrite

In yesterday's post about The Negative Drain, I essentially said two things:

1. Your bad day doesn't matter, and

2. There IS no "good" or "bad" -- life basically boils down to perspective.

I also said I have trouble empathizing with people, especially when they fail to realize that their problems are primarily the result of their own actions. Thus, I despise the Negative Drain effect of people crying "woe is me" in an effort to draw attention to themselves, because it derails both THEIR forward momentum AND mine.

Some folks agreed with me. Some disagreed. But no one else thought to call me a hypocrite except longtime STBD fan Andrew Smith, who made the point on BOTH of my blogs.

Here, he commented:

‘Woe-Is-Me’ could be a wonderful title for that classification of blog entry in which I might place most of the ‘inability to manage time’, ‘get things done’, or ‘financial difficulties’ posts.

(In case you're new, those are topics that bubble up quite often here at Cafe Witness...)

Then, on the STBD Blog, when I mentioned we'd fallen behind on production due to my tendency to hit the metaphorical snooze alarm, Andrew wrote:

...or call it 'woe-is-me'. Justin, I'm not trying to beat up on you here, but for you cast's sake and for that of your art, please forget where the snooze button is. I've been a volunteer for the greater portion of my working life. Take their time seriously. It isn't really free. They sacrifice for what they care about.

I think it's pretty clear that Andrew is trying to be proactive here, which I appreciate. Which is why, instead of sitting here and attempting to defend myself, or debating the points he raised, I won't. Instead, I'll make a proclamation:

September is "No Woe" Month (for me, at least).

What does that mean?

- No blog posts or Twitters of a negative nature. (That includes irony, since I mentioned yesterday that irony is a great way to couch frustration.)

- No blog posts or Twitters about time management, getting things done or personal finance -- since, to offer suggestions for improvement, I'd have to first acknowledge that I sometimes have these problems myself.

- No blog posts or Twitters about bad news, be it mine or the world at large's.

- No COMMENTS about other people's problems. To acknowledge them is to delve into The Negative Drain, and hence risk hypocrisy.

- Not saying "I can't," because that implies an inability to succeed. Instead, I'll be using "I won't," which implies a conscious choice over which I have full control. (AKA, "I won't be going to PodCamp Philly next week, because I've chosen to work on STBD production instead.")

What's the Point?

The point is, Andrew's right: I can't claim to not care about other people's problems and then pretend that mine are worth talking about.

Beyond that, I'm interested to see if this woe-free experiment improves my productivity and general attitude.

My Predictions?

In actuality, here's what I suspect will happen:

- I'll become quite disenfranchised from everyone for the next 30 days.

- I'll get a LOT of work done.

- I may find something else to write about on this blog, since all traditional topics will be taboo.

- I just might end up happier... or I might go crazy with no ironic outlet.

However, one thing you can count on: I won't be a shiny, happy person every day. It isn't in my makeup. To paraphrase, if I've nothing positive to say, I'll say nothing at all.

And if I do have problems? Fear not; you'll not hear about them. (That's what friends and family are for.)

So: who's with me on "No Woe" Month?

Why Break Down When You Can Build Up?

Since it's so easy to find information about anything -- or anyone -- online these days, each of us now has a certain responsibility every time we type a word, record a syllable or post a video to the web: we have the power to create or destroy.

I Know I've Got a Bad Reputation... And It Isn't Just Talk, Talk, Talk...

By now, we all know the power of Jeff Jarvis's dissatisfaction with Dell: he complained about their poor customer service on BuzzMachine and became the leading spokesperson about their business practices.

If someone is dissatisfied with YOUR business, product or services, the damage they can do to your brand and reputation is far greater than the good they could do if they were madly in love with you. Why? Because it's been proven through numerous consumer behavior studies that customers are nearly 10 times more likely to tell their friends about a BAD experience they had with a business than they are to relate a GOOD experience.

People take good service for granted. People EXPECT you to deliver what you promise.

But if there's a wrinkle in the plan, their good graces go out the window.

Suddenly, your five minute delay or minor hiccup could cost your customer time or money -- and their vitriolic review of you online (or to their friends, who could ALSO bash you online) could cost YOU even more.

And yet... instead of sitting around complaining about the ills of the world, think of how much more productive we could be if we all spread the word about the POSITIVE experiences we have.

Pass It On

Someone you know is taking part in a cancer run. Someone else is volunteering at a daycare or a homeless shelter. And someone else is trying to figure out what, exactly, to do about Darfur.

Does everyone else in your social circle know about these compelling individuals? Does everyone you connect with have an avenue to assist these folks in whatever way they can?

Probably not.

Probably because you took your ten minutes of blogging or Twittering time today to update people about how lousy you feel, or how pressured, or how something important broke, or how angry you are at a waitress or clerk or civil servant who didn't move your day along as fast as possible.

So, instead of linking the people you know to the information you KNOW they should be aware of, you instead become yet another voice of dissent in their lives. You may be amusing, you may be insightful, you may be hysterical -- most of all, you may be RIGHT -- but the one thing you're NOT doing is ADDING to the conversation.

Think about it: would you rather your friends all go to bed tonight knowing that TalkShoe is helping Kiva finance small businesses in developing countries through their Talkathon, or knowing that traffic was horrible both to AND from Wendy's, and that your hamburger was undercooked?

There are millions of people out there who are dissatisfied about something. That's why spreading good news tends to stand out so clearly: no one else is doing it.